that's great! i love the matter of factness of the demon and the casual willingness to sacrifice her friends. its a shame there arent a few more demons popping up here and there in the real world... keep us on our toes! if you'd like a story which has a certain resonance with yours, you could check out the Concurrencies that i just posted the final chapter of yesterday. The ending isnt as well captured as yours though... the consequence of setting off without an end firmly in mind!
Well this took a dark turn! Somehow I was surprised when it all went wrong 😂 like summoning a demon ever goes well. Good one. I really enjoyed the pacing.
Aw thanks Garen. Yes, I thought it was going to be more like a Buffy demon but no, you went full demon, and it was horrible in all the right places. Those poor girls. Loving it, anyway.
I thought there was going to be something about her heart pounding and her lungs literally catching fire there.
When dealing with demons especially, you need to get your wording perfect, as they'll take any advantage they can.
Like with rings of wishes in AD&D - on encountering a wish the entire party would just spend an entire hour trying to get the wording right to eliminate deliberate misinterpretations and loopholes. Mind you, that kind of tells you something about the malevolence of the DM.
that's great! i love the matter of factness of the demon and the casual willingness to sacrifice her friends. its a shame there arent a few more demons popping up here and there in the real world... keep us on our toes! if you'd like a story which has a certain resonance with yours, you could check out the Concurrencies that i just posted the final chapter of yesterday. The ending isnt as well captured as yours though... the consequence of setting off without an end firmly in mind!
Thank you, Nick! Appreciate the kind words. It’s cool when there are connections between stories here on Substack - the zeitgeist at work!
Nick's Concurrencies story is great fun by the way - I just finished reading it about half an hour ago as it happens.
indeed. its happened a few times. i think the vibes permeate the ether....
Go Go Go Go!
Fun story!
Thank you!!
Well this took a dark turn! Somehow I was surprised when it all went wrong 😂 like summoning a demon ever goes well. Good one. I really enjoyed the pacing.
Thank you! Yes, demon summoning doesn’t have the best track record. 😜 I’m happy you enjoyed it!
BTW: I read your story Shabti and thought the writing was excellent. Loved the historical setting and rich characters.
Aw thanks Garen. Yes, I thought it was going to be more like a Buffy demon but no, you went full demon, and it was horrible in all the right places. Those poor girls. Loving it, anyway.
For a second I thought it was going to possess her and leave her aware and at its mercy.
I like that as an alternate ending. Does Carla escape, die, or does the Demon of Rivalry possess her? All possible and interesting in their own way!
I thought there was going to be something about her heart pounding and her lungs literally catching fire there.
When dealing with demons especially, you need to get your wording perfect, as they'll take any advantage they can.
Like with rings of wishes in AD&D - on encountering a wish the entire party would just spend an entire hour trying to get the wording right to eliminate deliberate misinterpretations and loopholes. Mind you, that kind of tells you something about the malevolence of the DM.
Anyway - that was a really fun story!
I do like the demon character type in stories exactly because of their tendency to be clever tricksters - as well as blood thirsty and scary, lol!
Very good!
Thank you, David!