17 Comments
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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

That is exceptionally written and breathless, and poetic too. The only edit I would do, though, near the beginning, when you write 'all I want to do is to sleep and dream' - remove the 'to' there, so it's just 'sleep and dream'. Hmm, maybe I'm just going into Sandman mode again... apologies!

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Garen Marie's avatar

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I so appreciate it, Evelyn!

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Komi's avatar

this is so much fun i would read it 50 times if i had the time, such an amazing story. its so fun and wild with fantastic words! keep it going Garen!

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Garen Marie's avatar

Thank you so much!

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Shane Bzdok's avatar

Daaaaannnnnggggggggg. This was fantastic, Garen! I couldn't stop reading. Grisly. Wild. Fun.

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Garen Marie's avatar

Gosh, thank you so much! 🖤

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Well-written and poetic! I love POV from the "monster". I really liked the sensory details you put into the story, giving us a grounded way to "see" the way the creature sees/smells.

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Garen Marie's avatar

Thank you! 🙏 I’m so glad you enjoyed it.

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Shawn Brooks's avatar

Of course !

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

This was dope!! So good.

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Garen Marie's avatar

Thanks, Sean! 🖤

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

This is brilliant, gorgeously written like haunting music, hard and magical at once. I handled this the way I would any beautiful thing with teeth: lovingly poring over it and going slowly.

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Garen Marie's avatar

Wow, thank you so much! I love the way you phrase that. 🖤

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Lyndsey Resnick's avatar

Lovely, Garen. Haunting. The words flow like running, breathless.

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Garen Marie's avatar

Thank you so much, Lyndsey!

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Nick Winney's avatar

this is a thing of beauty!!!!

the narative and the driven action of the animal has an intrinsic pace... the story drags you running through it and the imagery is so vivid. I am still not quite sure what is what but im going to read it again. i love the sinister arrivals at the end and of course I am so happy to have given you an inspiration by such a bizarre route. its great when something just sparks an idea isnt it!

huge pat on the back for this one! 😎🤌

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Garen Marie's avatar

Thank you so much! Yes, I just couldn’t get that angel’s hare out of my head so I need to get her down on the digital page. Apprecaite your kind words!!

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